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Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy had his twitter community gripping their screens this weekend as he dove headfirst into the meme coin abyss. Trust us, it turned into quite a show.
It all kicked off on February 7, when Portnoy decided to go full “crypto degen,” pocketing nearly $70,000 trading Solana shitcoins. Not one to call it a day after a single win, Portnoy made his grand return to the trenches, where a token named Jailstool was waiting for its moment of fame.
Named after Portnoy’s X account handle, @stoolpresidente, JAILSTOOL went viral faster than one of his infamous pizza reviews. Its backstory? A cheeky nod to his supposed “criminal” act of dumping tokens on Friday. But Portnoy didn’t shy away, in fact, he embraced it like a badge of honour.
🎯 “I Want This as a Trophy, You Crybabies”
Portnoy hopped on X (formerly Twitter) at 4 PM ET on Saturday, letting his followers know he was all in on Jailstool. He called the token creator a “comedian,” and just for kicks, dropped a screenshot of his Solana wallet stacked with 57.16 million JAILSTOOL tokens. His cost? A humble $378.
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But in true Portnoy fashion, chaos ensued just hours later. After a wild run-up, Portnoy accidentally sold his entire stack while, wait for it, taking a piss. đźš˝
🤑 Oops… He Did It Again
The accidental dump earned him over 586 SOL, worth $119,000. Naturally, the internet exploded with reactions. But Portnoy wasn’t done stirring the pot. He came back swinging, spending a jaw-dropping 1,000 SOL ($200,000) to buy back 23 million tokens.
Why? Because he’s apparently a “benevolent and heroic crypto Caesar.” 👑 Hey, his words, not ours.
Portnoy vowed not to sell another token until Jailstool hit a $1 billion market cap. And guess what? The community responded. The token skyrocketed to a peak valuation of $218 million, according to CoinGecko, fueled by Portnoy’s relentless hype and, yes, a new merch line. He even pledged to reinvest $100K into Jailstool for every $100 million milestone.
🚀 The Rise & Fall of the Meme Coin Empire
Despite the fanfare, Jailstool’s reign at the top was short-lived. The token’s price nosedived as quickly as it had risen. Even a Kraken listing couldn’t save it from tumbling 83.6% off its all-time high.
Portnoy wasn’t having any of it. He let loose on his daily trading show, roasting so-called “crypto experts” for scaring off newbie investors. His frustration boiled over as he hinted at launching his own coin, a comment that sent Jailstool into an even deeper downward spiral.
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And as if things couldn’t get juicier, crypto influencer Nick O’Neill accused Portnoy of working with protocol Meteora on a secret token. Portnoy clapped back, denying everything faster than a rug pull. Still, the damage was done. As of now, Jailstool is trading at $0.036, with Portnoy nursing a brutal $264,000 unrealized loss. Yikes.
🌪️ But Wait, There’s More!
You thought Portnoy would retreat? Think again. By Monday, he was already onto his next meme coin adventure, buying $17,000 worth of Dave Fartnoy (yes, that’s a real coin) because, in his words, “it’s a cute collectible.” Portnoy now owns nearly 10% of the total supply. Market cap? A modest $4.4 million, for now.
Whether he’s a meme coin genius or just addicted to chaos, one thing’s for sure: Portnoy and Jailstool have cemented themselves in crypto’s WTF hall of fame. Stay tuned, because with Portnoy at the helm, the Solana meme coin saga is far from over.
TL;DR:
Now dabbling in Dave Fartnoy because why not?
Portnoy trades Jailstool for $119K, then accidentally dumps it mid-bathroom break.
Buys back in with $200K and vows to HODL until $1B market cap.
Price crashes 83%, but Portnoy isn’t selling… yet.
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Feature image by Julian Zett
